The ski season has finished and thousands of people will be taking to travel sites and social media platforms to share their winter holiday experiences and reviews with friends, family and, of course, The Internet. And the largest, and by far the most accessed travel site of all for holiday reviews is Trip Advisor, with two hundred new reviews from around the world being posted every minute.
Here, we look at the funniest – and oddest – reviews left from past patrons of ski chalet holidays.
All chalet and company names have been removed but none of these reviews are from our chalets, of course.
The staff were too small
“When I book a skiing holiday, I require my chalet host to be at least five foot tall, and no less. It is bad enough that Rehne doesn’t have time to deal with us on arrival, but her being vertically-challenged is completely unacceptable.”
Discovery of new sea creatures
“We were just getting into the spirit of New Year celebrations, with a cup of mulled wine and some shortbread fingers, when our group were besieged by giant, inflatable whale jellyfishes and lobster men.”
The excellent, one-star experience
“What do I have to say about this chalet stay? It was magnificent! One star for you, you incredible, kind, hosts you!”
Cuckoo in the nest
“Look, if you’ll just show me the part in the brochure where it says ‘must sleep with the staff’, I’ll up my review to five stars and we’ll say no more about it.”
The real shocker
“We simply looked out of the window, hoping to take in some beautiful, snow-capped mountain views, when ZAP! It was absolutely shocking…”
A strange review about ‘strange’ quirks
“A ski chalet break should always, always, be inclusive of dish washing liquid, tennis balls, and teleportation to the stunning mountain scenery nearby.”
Where did the beds go?
“One minute we were getting into our onesies, brushing our teeth and reaching to switch off the bedside lamp, when there was a whoosh under the bedroom door… and then the beds fell down.”
The chalet wasn’t ‘dirty’ enough!
“There is absolutely no way I will be booking with this terrible, dishonest company again. Unless they let me ‘upload’ my tasteful erotica collection.”
Beware the ancient pamphlet of death
“Look young man, this skiing holiday was horrendous and for heaven’s sake, don’t question the staff about their clarifications. But where was I? Ah yes, beware of the brochure. It has sections written in ‘layman’s’ terms.”
The smell of angry water
“Have you ever smelled water that’s a bit annoyed? Well let me tell you, this aggressive stuff is even worse.”
If you’re thinking it, so are we: “Chalet Company you’re tempting fate here… poking fun at other, unfortunate vendors”. Well, we’re very confident with our level of service, we think our chalets are pristine and beautiful. But go on, we dare you, book with us and have your own say!