CAKE NEWS! Issue 14

Cake news funny chalet news

Welcome to cake news – a lighter take on Fake News!

Your weekly antidote to the real-life-news… and a delve into what is going on up in the Alps?!


Issue 14



In the light of the nation’s state pensions rising his year, the Three Valleys resort is keen to attract an older audience and capitalise on the boosted ‘grey pound’.

Marie-Claire-Emilie Bonjour, from Méribel Tourism, explains that the resorts have partnered with global-seniors-holiday-provider Saga to develop a snowsports branch. Their pilot project will be Méribel.

On piste, a summer’s worth of digging and laying has taken place to smooth some of the resort’s feistiest reds into granny-friendly-greens. In terms of chairlifts, all will be lowered so that skis can skim across the snow, while the skier remains in a seated position. You’ll also be able to take all chairlifts down the mountain, as well as up.

We’ve previously reported on the new bingo hall, Mériball, set to open this season, but other adaptations to the resort include a blanket order to raise central heating in all buildings by 2.5 degrees. Council-provided mobility scoot-skis will make it easy to get around town and back from après, where bars will be serving earl grey cocktails and complimentary biscuits with every shot of Jaegermeister.



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The vast majority of these endorsements and statements are fabricated, satirical, ironic or fantastical. Please enjoy with a large pinch of salt.
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