Welcome to cake news – a lighter take on Fake News!
Your weekly antidote to the real-life-news... and a delve into what is going on up in the Alps?!
FORGET BREXT, COULD IT BE MÉR-EXIT?!
Whispers are abound in the mountains about the emergence of a new lobby group, known as the MRG (or Méribel Rescue Group), headed by Méribel resident and star of the Harry Potter films, Emma Watson, in conjunction with Surrey County Council.
The sole aim of the group is to broker the sale of Méribel, by France, to the United Kingdom. Ms Watson explains: “For me, Méribel is as British as Big Ben and a mug of tea... it was founded by a British Colonel and 97.3% of the winter population is British. Let’s agree a price and Méribel - or Meribel as it will be re-named - can be run as an overseas territory from Woking by Surrey Council Council.”
Cake News has seen the proposed blueprints for the re-drawing of international boundaries in the Valley. A new northerly British/ French border will be established just before the SuperU supermarket on the road out of Moutiers and finish in the south at 3153m at the top of Mont du Borgne. The SuperU will be nationalised and turned into a Waitrose.
According to Norman Sanderson, Head of Surrey County Council, this is a natural progression for the Council: “Surrey CC has strong growth plans and, of course, we want to do that organically by grabbing parts of Hampshire, Sussex and even Berkshire but we also have an acquisition strategy and Méribel... sorry Meribel... absolutely fits into that. I have been in touch with local MP, Jean-Baptiste Le Politicien, and he is open to a conversation about the sale. They even asked us to take on Moutiers... but we’re not falling for that one!”
Ms Watson is especially fond of the private transfer service The Chalet Company offer, from Chalet Bruyere to the main lift (not to mention the spacious chalet, hot tub and open fires).
You won't be surprised to learn that 'Cake News' is, in fact, Fake News.
The vast majority of these endorsements and statements are fabricated, satirical, ironic or fantastical. Please enjoy with a large pinch of salt.